The world needs more compassionate people, are you one?

I am sure you want to help, and being compassionate is the first step

Hey all! I hope you are enjoying a fantastic week! Last week we talked about the Usui Reiki Healing modality, so make sure to check it out if you missed it. This week we will talk about the act of being compassionate. I am sure that if you are reading this, there is already compassion in your heart. We are keeping it simple, with easy advice starting from having more self-compassion, and then bringing it to others.

In a way, intention is key here, because pretty much every single person has empathy, so you only need to find it in your heart to be more compassionate. I am sure you appreciate your most compassionate friends and loved ones. Perhaps is thanks to them that you want to develop your ability to be compassionate.

What is compassion exactly and how does it compare with empathy?

To be clear, compassion is the capacity to perceive that someone is having a hard time, and want to take action to aid the person in any way possible. Here, you will have both an intellectual understanding of what is going on, as well as some empathic understanding. However, empathy on its own is the capacity to feel the same feelings that other people have around. Indeed, empathy normally leads to compassion, but this is the main difference.

For example, it is a very snowy day you see someone pushing their car because it will not start. If you are compassionate, you will pull over (if you have time) and offer them your help, so they can at least get their car started. You might do this from compassion alone, even if you don’t feel sorry for the person. You may start to feel as bad as the person trying to start their car (empathy), but you might still not be willing to help them for whatever reason.

You are compassionate when you find the need to help someone stuck with a frozen car.

You can see the Difference Between Empathy and Compassion. Normally, because of empathy alone, you will already find the desire to help someone who is going through a hard time, but you will start to be compassionate in the moment that you take physical action to help. When you are compassionate, you will feel a lot better with yourself.

I have to say, it is addicting to receive graceful comments from people after helping them, as well as seeing them happier and better. These positive energies will improve your well-being since you are adding positive vibrations to your life also thanks to the Principle of Vibration and Rhythm. Not only this, but other people will project good intentions on you because even when they don’t ask for help, they are likely to accept it with open arms if you offer it anyway.

A great way to strengthen your compassionate approach to life is to start working on your empathic skills. Only through them, you will find it in your heart to want to help others more. One simple way is starting to look other people in their eyes, because this way, you will activate the basic empathy that every human being has. Another one is to put yourself in their shoes intellectually. What if you are stuck with a frozen car and late for work?

Only with the two above, you will already find it’s a good idea to help that person, and you will find it in your heart to do it, especially if you can help them in any way. If you are observant and pay attention to what is happening, you will see they need help regardless of not asking for it or even rejecting any offer. Here, you must accept if a person doesn’t want help, and not feel bad with yourself because of the rejection. It is here that you take the next step about being compassionate and starting to be with yourself.

Why self-compassion is essential?

So, the first step is to work on self-compassion because you need to care for yourself first to care for others. If you are not well, how can you make others well? So, the first step is to work on self-compassion, and here you need to pay more attention to your needs. Perhaps you are a strong person, and you are the “I can do it” type, which is fantastic, but you need to add, “I can take care of my needs too,” and this already will start motion for you to be kinder to yourself.

When you are self-compassionate you grow stronger to help more people.

You may be already super kind and compassionate for others, but you may not be with yourself, and this is not good. You can end up falling into what is called “compassion burnout” where you will feel weaker, drained, and discouraged to continue being nice. This will affect negatively your empathy and your heart chakra, bringing more cynism and negative ego in your consciousness, and you certainly don’t want this. Allow me to give you some simple steps to help your self-caring:

• Self-kindness: Do you know what the word kind means? Please have the meaning straight from dictionary.com in case you don’t! You need to think more about your needs, and it’s not bad to do this. You will not turn into a centered selfish person, don’t worry! If you are kind to others, you know how to be kind to yourself. Don’t overdo things, don’t set up goals that are too aggressive, and remember to treat yourself now and then.
• Mindfulness: This is another important step, for you to be mindful of everything that you do, for example, mindful eating. Mindfulness needs to be part of your life, because only this way, you bring compassionate actions to others and yourself. Learn more about mindfulness and start applying at least a little change at a time. Once you do, start with the next change, and then the next one, and the next one until you have developed a greater relationship with yourself.
• Self-understanding: This one is imperative, and maybe you are reading this and you are already avoiding thinking about this. Unfortunately, society teaches us to function like robots, following trends and directives, and not having time to even know our desires. Are you uncomfortable to be in your mind? I understand you, but I also feel very sad for you if this is true. You must start to listen to what your consciousness has to tell you. Invest 10-15 minutes a day in quality silent introspection, it greatly pays off.

Don’t think that self-compassion is connected with self-pity or self-indulgence, this is not true. What is true is that it is about acknowledging our pains, and offering the same self-care that we would administer to others. It is not good to be selfish, but you cannot be 100% selfless, as you need some caring too, starting from yours. Being self-compassionate is not being selfish, because you need to have some quality self-caring. Drop the whole, “I am weaker” subject if you thought about it with self-compassion, don’t be ridiculous!

How to be more compassionate with yourself and others

In addition to the above, you can check below how to be more compassionate with others and yourself. You can pick up any you want, and more. I am giving only some examples so you can have a few more ideas and start improving today:

• Writing a letter. You can write a letter to someone or yourself (to open in some time from today), where you praise for what you are grateful for. Focus on the beautiful things that you know are true about the other person (or yourself) and tell as clearly as you can.
• Self-compassion breaks. You need to keep something in mind, perpetuity doesn’t exist, it goes against the Laws of Physics. Maybe you are thinking, “That only applies to energy.” You are correct, but let me answer with, “Everything, including you, is energy in different forms.” So, even a thought or action is bound to the laws of physics. You need to take a break now and then and recharge yourself. Sometimes, you should take a break from being constantly available to everybody.
• Become your friend. You need to be friends with other people, with your partner, and even with yourself. You need to be happy in your mind space, and physically you want to enjoy your own company as well. Don’t mind enjoying some time on your own, perhaps when other people around you are busy with their stuff. You need to love yourself, and enjoy you!

You are unique with wonderful traits. You only need to open your eyes, see them, and love yourself.

• The RAIN of Self-Compassion Meditation. I plan to go deeper with this one in the future, but for now, it’s worth mentioning. The acronym RAIN stands for:
  • Recognize what is going on. You only need to understand what is happening, how are you feeling, and what you feel.
  • Allow the experience to be there, just as it is. You need to let recognition flow without trying to change things, avoiding self-judgment.
  • Investigate with interest and care. Get to learn more about what is going on, without judging, but with an open heart to learn more.
  • Nurture with self-compassion. Knowing everything, now you need to take some action and start doing what helps the most.
• Exercises to rewire the brain for resilience. You can check an article where I talk about how to build resilience in your brain, and heart. Little by little, you will be more resilient by investing time in yourself thanks to self-compassion.
• Loving-Kindness Meditation.  Investing time in meditation for self-care is a wonderful gift that you can give to yourself. Any meditation is wonderful, but these meditations on self-awareness will greatly help you to love yourself more.

From here, you will slowly be growing into feeling more compassionate towards others and yourself. Don’t forget to always take good care of yourself, if you do, you will be able to project your compassionate actions to as many people as you want. I suggest that you include these in your daily routine, they will significantly pay off.

Mindful communication and compassionate listening

To wrap up, I want to share with you how important is for you to speak up. This applies when other people, especially the ones closest to you, are attempting to be compassionate and help you. You push them out from your field, because “you can do it?”, right? WRONG! You are not better, nor you are helping others by not allowing them to help you.

I would say that you are not that compassionate because you are willing to hurt others just because you believe you don’t need their help. If you want to help others and not hurt them, allow them to help you when they see it’s necessary. Trust me, you will appreciate it too because regardless of how compassionate and helpful you are, you are a human being too… don’t allow your ego to cloud your reasoning.

So, make sure to keep healthy communication, and don’t hold everything in, you are only hurting yourself and others. Check this article about why communication is essential for you and others to thrive in life. Keep it up, a little bit every day, and you will see that everything turns out to be more positive.

FAQ

Q: What is self-compassion?

A: Self-compassion relates to taking care of yourself with the same consideration and empathy that you would extend to a friend who is going through a hard time.

Q: Why is self-compassion important?

A: It helps you to be happier, and more satisfied with great health and positive relationships making you at the same time a lot more resistant to anxiety and depression.

Q: What are the core elements of self-compassion?

A: Keep into account your self-kindness and mindfulness.

Q: What are common myths about self-compassion?

A: There are myths about it being self-indulgent, weakening us, an excuse for bad behavior, and even believing that this will turn into an excuse to avoid self-criticism.

Q: How can I practice self-compassion?

A: For example, you can write compassionate letters to yourself, practice meditation, and take self-compassion breaks as well giving yourself a treat, at least now and then.

Q: How does loving-kindness meditation strengthen compassion?

A: These meditations involve wishing well to others and oneself, which can increase kindness, generosity, positive emotions, and happiness. All meditations at meditatewithfernando.com are charged with white light to help further, and sound frequencies to promote further healing and growth of compassionate feelings.

Q: What is the difference between empathy and compassion?

A: Empathy is feeling another’s feelings as your own, while compassion includes a deep understanding and desire to help alleviate their suffering.

Q: Can empathy be taught?

A: Regular human empathy can develop through practices like making eye contact and paying attention to the other person in general. However, if you are an empath, that comes at birth, this will come naturally to you, even turning overwhelming. If that is the case, you are empathic enough, trust me!

Q: How can I be more compassionate at work?

A: Make sure that your colleagues have proper well-being and ensure to maintain open communication with them. Encourage positive interactions, and promote self-compassion as well.

Remember that as with everything, you will not make a 180º shift just by reading this article. Now that you are more aware, I recommend that you invest time in introspection and self-observation. Be compassionate with yourself and kindly observe your actions and thoughts, understanding what you want to change and how.

Next month, it’s November’s Monthly Tarot Reading time, and we will talk about the following Tarot Card: The Hierophant. You will also have a couple or three questions related to this card for you to reflect on. The guided meditation “The Emperor” card will be available to purchase. Stay tuned for next Wednesday! 

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I invite you to check earlier posts: eighth year, seventh year, sixth year, fifth year, fourth year, third year, second year, first year.

Love & Light,

Lots of blessings and abundance your way! (Home)

Rev. Fernando Albert