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How to detect and protect yourself with these 10 signs of trauma bonding
- Fernando Albert
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10 Trauma Bonding Signs: How to Recognize a Trauma Bond and Protect Yourself
Hey, hey! Today, I want to share with you 10 signs of trauma bonding and what you should do about it. This one, as you can tell, comes from another request. Some subjects are less spiritual, but they can also help you if you need support here. On top of that, having a spiritual awareness helps to better approach situations like trauma bonding in a relationship, so I know these help out.
Trauma bonding brings massive unfulfillment, and it is, unfortunately, present in more relationships than you can imagine. This also contributes to people saying, "I hate my life," which was last week's subject, so check it out if you missed it.
Please know that you can find all the support you need here. Trauma bonding focuses on making you feel dependent on the other person, making you feel trapped, and accepting the potential abuse you are receiving. You are not alone; you can escape trauma bonding by taking one little step at a time and getting professional mental help when necessary.
The common cases of trauma bonding
To give you a general idea, the foundation to build trauma bonding is using emotional manipulation. From a spiritual perspective, the abuser has weaker energy in their Solar Plexus chakra, having the need to control the other person to escape their own fear.
Sometimes, the Universe "plays" cruel games, having its mechanics working against your favor. If you already had childhood and early trauma influences, it is easier for you to attract someone who will inflict that same abuse. The Principle of Mentalism and Vibration are not on your side here, making it one reading that it is important you work on yourself and your self-love.
Think about it: when you slowly work on yourself, you feel better with yourself, making you stronger to be more decisive in taking your necessary steps. Sometimes, without noticing it, you might even empathize with the abuser, giving them reasons to validate their abuse or simply negating that there is abuse entirely.
The stages of trauma bonding usually start with a love bombing phase to gain your trust and for you to become more vulnerable. Thanks to this, you will give avenues for the abuser to exceed devaluation and control, and if you allow it, they will continue to attempt to claim more of your energy, space, and personality.
The 10 signs of trauma bonding are clear; let's see them!
I want to get to the point, but it is important that you read carefully each of these statements. It is most likely you can find one or two that resonate to a small degree, and if you learn some ways of improvement... please, by all means!
You shouldn't be alarmed if it's a situation as above, and overall the both of you have healthy boundaries; there is nothing to worry about. However, if these govern your relationships, and the energy, deep down, you know is not good, you have some work to do!
- Isolation from friends and family. This is perhaps the most common problem and the first of the 10 signs of trauma bonding. Unfortunately, some cultures clearly show this type of abuse from men towards women. If you feel pushed away from your friends and family... red flag!
- Loss of personal identity. Have you stopped doing what you like? Do you do all that your partner likes? Do you listen to your preferred music and watch your preferred shows as well? Both of your personalities and likings need to shine in the relationship, even if they are individualized actions and likings.
- Hypervigilance and anxiety. Is your partner a control freak? Are you always checking your partner's phone? Is either of you constantly obsessed with what the other is doing? Keep in mind that each of you may need individualized time; if so, the other half needs to honor it.
- Love bombing followed by mistreatment. Here, the toxicity increases, taking the dangerous road of manipulation. Here is where the problem starts to escalate. If either of you is saturating the other with compliments, love, etc., followed by making you feel bad for everything, please make it stop!
- Chronic shame or guilt. This is another problem coming from manipulation and one of the most powerful of the 10 signs of trauma bonding. If you feel constantly bad, despite having great self-love and assertive behavior to grow, you know it's not you, and it is likely to be your abuser. Start reading properly between words.
Please, use these two characters to represent trauma bonding. As much as you can, use creativity and symbology to represent a collective meaning to all of these together, but don't use text:
- Covering up or lying about abuse. This is one that for sure was making the 10 signs of trauma bonding list. This is one of the perpetrator's strongest weapons. Instead of owning their mistakes, they will tell you that you are the one making the mistake or simply that there is no abuse at all.
- Dislike of the abuser despite dependency. It is possible that you are already fed up, but you have weakened so much that you believe you are completely dependent on your abuser and have to eat it. In some cases, the abuser doesn't like their victim, but they hold dependency potentially to fulfill narcissistic emotions.
- Difficulty leaving the relationship. In a similar way to the above, you might have a hard time leaving the relationship. Sometimes, it could be because of life's situation, but at times, regardless of how independent you are, you fear being alone or leaving your partner. You need to break this look and seek help if needed.
- Abuser “hoovering” tactics. Here, you managed to finally break the horrible loop, but the abuser will continue trying to reel you back in and convince you that things are not as before, or even apply more abusive manipulation to break you down.
- Obsessive thoughts after it ends. Even after managing to break through all the attachments, and as the last of these 10 signs of trauma bonding, you still believe you love your partner or wonder if you were the one wrong in the end. If these affect your day-to-day life and relationships, please seek professional help.
As you can see, it is quite a tough list, but now we have gone through it, and you know a little better. Again, with one or two wrong signs, it is not to worry, especially if they are addressed and any necessary changes for everyone are implemented.
How to break free from trauma bonding
Let's see first why it is difficult to break (if the above wasn't enough!). One step, it is a certain emotional addiction. While you might be wondering, "how do I get out of a trauma bond?" perhaps the problem lies in yourself needing the affection from your perpetrator... a pseudo-Stockholm syndrome, if I can say. This comes from all the love bombing and building up in the first place.
On top of this, perhaps your abuser convinced you to stop working to take care of the kids, for example, or used any other means to keep you dependent on them. The abuser will isolate you from making a cent or even not allow you to help in the home business, etc., to ensure they have complete professional and financial control.
Ultimately, with reinforcement on everything abovementioned, it will become harder and harder for you to snap out of it or to at least find the strength to break through this vicious control. Here you have some suggestions:
- Professional Help. If you feel that trauma bonding is controlling your day-to-day life, please make sure to seek help. You are not alone. Contact Crisis Text Line if you need support. On top, I will be happy to help you add you to my healing list and support you with some personalized free healing, too, so feel free to reach out.
- Prepare an exit plan. You can start this on your own, including daydreaming about that life you really want. Ask yourself what foundational steps you need to take and what realistic options you have, as well as which ones you can pursue. As soon as you have some ideas, you will grow stronger.
- Understand withdrawal symptoms. Yes, as with any drug, physical or virtual, moving away from trauma bonding triggers some withdrawal symptoms. Spent time outdoors surrounded by positive and goal-oriented people. The path will look clearer!
- Reclaiming identity. Start finding your power again by taking one step to work on yourself and to move onward from here. Give yourself some daily time for introspection and self-observation. Cultivate what you love the most about yourself, and bring it forward. Seek new personal connections and get out more.
While the following course is built for success, it also contains a lot of helpful advice that you can implement in your life to build professional, financial, and personal success, making you stronger by taking small steps. Check it out!
These 10 signs of trauma bonding are only some of the red flags you could see in your relationships. One reason why self-love is essential, that with it, you will not allow certain people in your life, and on top of that, you will start attracting better, thanks to the Principle of Vibration, among others.
Conclusion
In the end, self-awareness and self-love play a key role here for escaping trauma bonding. If you think you can start taking tiny steps, go ahead. You don't have to stop the relationship after reading this, but you can at least take one tiny step towards loving yourself a little more.
I insist, if you feel that trauma bonding is controlling your day-to-day life, please make sure to seek help. You are not alone. Contact Crisis Text Line if you need support. On top, I will be happy to help you add you to my healing list and support you with some personalized free healing, too, so feel free to reach out.
From here, I wish you were not in this situation, but if you are, remember, there is an end to this at the end of the tunnel, and you can find all the resources you need. Even if you feel alone, you can start bringing new, lovely connections into your life.
FAQ
Q: What is the difference between trauma bonding and a healthy attachment?
A: A healthy relationship is based on respect, trust, and support. Otherwise, when there is manipulation, abuse, or gaslighting, the relationship starts to turn into trauma bonding.
Q: Can trauma bonds happen in non-romantic relationships?
A: Absolutely, all relationships are eligible to go toxic, but for whatever reason, they never let go of each other. One of the 10 signs of trauma bonding is not allowing others to shine because of jealousy, also present within families.
Q: How can someone break a trauma bond?
A: If you understand the unhealthy parts of the relationship, work your way up, and establish boundaries, you are on your way to breaking the trauma bond.
Q: Why is it hard to leave a trauma-bonded relationship?
A: It is likely that codependency governs your life, making you feel trapped. It is possible that the other person manipulated you in ways that made you think you are simply not strong enough to stand up. Guess what? You are!
Q: What does it mean when an abuser “hoovers” a victim?
A: This happens when the perpetrator doesn't accept that the relationship ended, and through narcissistic and other manipulative ways, they try to reel you back into them.
Q: Are there stages in forming a trauma bond?
A: Yes, they develop through phases, starting with negative emotions and limiting statements mixed with some sudden but noticeable manipulative practices.
Q: What should you do if you suspect you’re in a trauma bond?
A: You can start taking action by working on yourself and starting to claim your boundaries. You need to take assertive steps in your favor, being willing to move away from the relationship if the other person doesn't respect you.
If you feel any relationship is not flowing properly, and you start to see any of these 10 signs of trauma bonding, please start to take action today. The less you wait, the better, and perhaps you will see an immediate shift from the other person, as perhaps they were not even doing it maliciously, and they are willing to change. Next week, I will talk about another request, the Divine Feminine energy, so stay tuned until next Wednesday!
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Love & Light,
Lots of blessings and abundance your way! (Home)
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